Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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