so explain again why im purple
no
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
