I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
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If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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