so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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