Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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