Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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