people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
