I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
