In the future we'll all be gay
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
