if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
