Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
