I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
