I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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