She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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