How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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