no. you can't hotbox the world.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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