Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
