He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
