the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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