Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
