the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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