i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
