Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
