Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
