i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
