My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the room spins SO much faster in panama
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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