Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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