Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My vagina is officially offended.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
