I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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