I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
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when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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