so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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