Heybabeimwearingurpanties
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
