He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
