So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
