David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
