I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
