i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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