i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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