he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
