i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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