He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
