i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We got so high we made milksteak
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
