this boner is exhausting
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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