You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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