you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
