def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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