I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
