i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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