Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
im on a boat
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