i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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