I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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