Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
