I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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