I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
