Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
