i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
