she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
