If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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