tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize