I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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