Kiss
Puke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
