I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
