First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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