so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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