Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
