Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
