So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
