she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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