Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
