Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
