No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
