The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
