We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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